I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
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he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
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Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
There's even glitter on my cock...
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