Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
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...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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