So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
