And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
