She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
