She said her name was "party"
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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