Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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