maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
