Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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