OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
How external is "for external use only"?
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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