this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
