last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
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