I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Randomize
