I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
