how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
