I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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