Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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