i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize
