hotel room ftw
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
