you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
