she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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