You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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