Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
