oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Just pee around me
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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