every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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