Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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