Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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