you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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