I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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