the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
