You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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