My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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