I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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