Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(320): View more from Minnesota

If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?

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(816): View more from Missouri

I really want to fuck my wifes sister.

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(519): View more from Ontario

You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.

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(714): View more from California

you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can

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(516): View more from New York

Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.

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(615): View more from Tennessee

Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.

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(706): View more from Georgia

I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.

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(707): View more from California

i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.

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