She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
