bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
