So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
NoShamevember. You game?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize