East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
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