I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
we're so committed to being not committed
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
