So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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