Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
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