Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
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When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
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Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Randomize