and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
ok first of all what the fuck
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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