Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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