maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
