So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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