his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
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