her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
