i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
