Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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