Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
