just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize
