he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
