the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Randomize
